The Brothers Klitschko: Comrades in Defeat

As life would have it, winning isn’t the only outcome of a prizefight. Luckily for us, the Klitschkos have had their share of resounding defeats – and these moments have provided us with some of the most colorful and interesting post-fight commentary that you will ever see. Both fighters have doctorates, but they sure weave some non-scientific tales when losses occur.

To their defense, the Klitschkos are no different than any egotistical fighter who rarely concedes physical and mental defeat to an opponent, especially right after an actual loss. In many ways, their consistency to justify and defend each other’s failings is admirable, and shows a comraderie rarely seen in sport. However, the bizarre, layered stories they tell make you think these guys have Oliver Stone on speed dial.

Let’s go back three years, to the first Klitschko-Brewster title fight. Specifically, to Vlad’s meltdown in that fight and the bizarre conspiracy theories expressed by his brother Vitali, who I will call Dr. Strangelove, for purposes here. In that fight, the “unthinkable” (and I use that term loosely) occurred when “Dr. Steel Hammer” pounded on Brewster like an old duck-taped heavy-bag for four rounds, before completely falling apart in the fifth round, giving Brewster a well-deserved comeback victory and a reprieve on his once-sputtering career.

To say that Wladimir handed the victory over to a battered, yet game, Brewster would be an understatement of epic proportions. Brewster’s heart and determination in taking such a beating before turning the fight around, was of Rocky Balboa-proportions. Except this was real.

Wladimir’s 2004 meltdown against Lamon Brewster would be a best-selling instructional video on “how a boxer punches himself out,” if it ever were to hit the market. However, explaining that Wlad didn’t pace himself and Brewster showed otherworldly resolve made far too much sense for the Brothers Klitschko.

So, what actually went wrong? Did somebody “slip” something into Wlad’s water bottle before the fight? Perhaps, it was the same radioactive isotope used against Chris Byrd, which was allegedly found on Wlad’s gloves during their 2000 bout? According to the Klitschkos, a foreign substance ingested by Wladimir was responsible for his sudden loss of energy and shocking knockout defeat. They both went on for over a year, reiterating this fact, with their own brand of fuzzy logic to boot. To them, something just had to be wrong in the first Brewster fight.

I may not have a doctoral degree, but I think I have some simple answers that can help explain the loss. Wladimir’s propensity to collapse in such a momentous fashion was not totally surprising, because it had been demonstrated in his first career loss against a far worse opponent.

The opponent was Ross Purrity. Wlad was 24-0 coming entering the Purrity fight, against a guy whose record up to that point included lots of names that sounded like opponents on a video game (e.g. King Ipitan) or guys you went to elementary school with (e.g. Jason Williams). Other than a loss to Tommy Morrison, Purrity wasn’t supposed to offer much resistance to a fighter with Klitschko’s Olympic pedigree and undeniable physical gifts.

However, a funny thing happened in round 11 of their fight. Wladimir ran out of gas, Purrity attacked, and his corner threw in the towel. Somehow this evidence was not included in the extensive research that the Klitschkos collected to explain away the Brewster defeat.

This is not an anti-Klitschko infomercial – I actually think both fighters have a ton of ability, are good ambassadors for boxing, and may eventually unify the heavyweight title. However, I simply ask that they get out of the business of presenting dissertations on why they lost, and focus on studying how to prevent losses from happening.

In the school of hard knocks, you are remembered for what you do in the ring, not for what you say after you leave it in defeat. If the Klitschko brothers stay focused on the former, they’ll be just fine, and they may even help resurrect the moribund heavyweight division. I surely hope they do.